It's been a minute since I last spoke to you. When I say minute don't take it literally, just speaking gangsta. Minute in gangsta meaning a lapse in time depending on how you use it BUT I digress. It's been a minute since I last spoke to you but not beacuse I haven't had the time. I always have time for you baby! It's just I haven't had material worthy enough of your time. When I'm with you I got to give you the best of me or nothing at all. If I'm not inspired to right or in the mood I got to make myself scarce.
Love Always,
Christopher Benito Soto or CBS for short
P.S. I have no middle name just fucking with ya!
I'd like to start in an unusal fashion... on a downer. The video is a cover version from a band called Motion City Soundtrack. Isn't it strange how we find things we aren't looking for? The romantic in me likes to say we don't find things or pick them, they find and pick us when we need them most. This is another clear example of that. I went on the web to find a movie to watch and found this old 70's flick called "The Conversation" so I pop that sucker into youtube's search engine and not only did I get the movie but the song called "The Conversation" which I've heard before but never quite like this. I love this track and play it at least once a day. With no further ado I give you Julia Nunes.
Wasn't that something? The original song is pretty emotional in itself but Julia Nunes knocks it out of the ballpark. Not since Billie Holiday has a female musician make me feel her pain like Julia Nunes does in this cover.
The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
I've always wondered what a day in my life would look like on T.V. I mean not only capturing what I say or do but even getting in my head, what I think. I'll try to walk you through my day today as well as I can remember with thoughts I recall having, minus the boring parts of course.
I find myself at a Jack in The Box in Carson at around 8:50am with two buddies I made through a film program. We're there because we're a couple minutes early from making a presentation at Carson High School trying to convince graduating seniors to join the program. Meanwhile my friends purchase food I think how I hate not having any money and it hit me more when they ate in front of me. And I didn't expect them to treat me nor do I like to them to because its just not proper! After THEY ate we presented to a couple drama classes. Inbetween classes the students had nutrition and as I watched them enjoying themselves I thought about how this has always been the only thing that really makes me miss high school. So much advantage and so much fun crammed into a 15min. period
This is the second time we did these presentations as a group (first was at my former high school) so we got a technique on how we present. One of my friends starts the presentation and I pick it up when he starts stumbling which is often very soon and the other guy stands shyly in the corner behind the piano. It might be an untradition way of presenting but it works and its quite a funny act. We make the students laugh with the way we talk to each other and present. I figure we should take the act on the road. I find girls far more interested in my buddies then the program while I've manage to gain the interest of a total of two homosexuals. So once we've finished we headed to the programs offices in Santa Monica and this is where I pin point the beginning of my horrible day.
While his driving, one of my buddies smokes cigarette after cigarette, literally, right in my face. I must of said something about it to him along the lines of "dude I'm inhaling that!" and he replied very rudely with a "well you can go to the back seat". This is where he started to tick me off and he does it often. He presses my buttons.
We get to the office and the treatment doesn't get any better. In retrospect the smoke incident made me put my guard up but one other person who was in the office when we got there started to join in and maybe they take my kindness for weakness but there was only so much I will take before I say ENOUGH and people see a side of me thats violent and a loose cannon. I'll wip an ass when it needs to be wipped. They began to criticize this blog. And it wasn't constrictive criticism. Not by a long shot. I strongly dislike how some folks see someone happy or something that makes them happy and they can't have that. They talk trash to discourage you. I don't pay much attention to what folks have to say about how or what I do with my life when there intentions are to harm. If some of you have nothing nice to say or find these blogs amusing for the wrong reasons well then I suggest you stop reading them because you have some growing up to do and these blogs are not meant for you. I'll stop talking about these negetive nancy's because I've spent far to much of my time on them.
Now back to my day. I didn't have my car with me. I rode with the smoker. He likes to impress people and I noticed this when he tried to use me as a punching bag to impress the other kids and with my quick wit I shot him down only to having him retort with "How you getting home?" And this is where I snapped and took off. I knew if I stayed I would have killed him. I don't take to kindly to anyone treatening me or anything of those matters. I walked to a bus stop and luckly for me I had exactly the required fare to get home.
On the ride home I thought about many things and I came up with a twist on a quote.
It's easier to burn bridges then to build them and I've never been a worker.
When I got home I decided thats not how I wanted to end my day which is the opposite of how I deal with these kind of days. I have a bad day and I find comfront staying home even though its not really my home. I even stay in many days without seeing the sun because I'd rather stay away from trouble and theres trouble outside these walls. What a wrong way of thinking, right? It's just one of those fucked up way of thinking teenagers have or in my case soon to be young adult.
It was a hot Cali day so I decided to treat myself to Jamba Juice. I eventually got there after some time in traffic. Hoping for a break on a rough day I finally got it. Ironically the break came in not taking advantage of the break. I purchased a drink and the cashier actually gave me back more money then he was meant to. It took me a mere second to do what needed to be done. I took the money!!!!! nah just joshing. I told the dude and I felt great! It made my day. The way I saw it, I was having a really bad day but as bad as it was I never let my integrity be affected. On the ride home traffic cleared up and everything ran smoothly.
Fresh on my mind I asked my brother what he would have done if he was in the Jamba Juice situation without telling him what had just happened to me. I asked "Would you take the money?"
He said Yes.
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